I seriously can't believe this....

Hello this is the Earthquake Commission, how can I help?

Me: Hi, I was expecting our Skope Of Works for our land to arrive in the mail, and it hasn't, so I was just calling to see if you could send another copy?

Okay, I'll just look you up on our system......[long pause, lots of tapping, verifies my identity etc etc]... Right...hmmmm....I'll just transfer you to our claims department in Brisbane..


[hold music - quite rocky, no more plinkity plink keyboard music - nice touch]

Hello, this is M------, I understand you are calling about your land claim?

Me: Yeah, I thought our reports had been forwarded to us but nothing has arrived in the mail...


Right, no, we are not sending out reports any more.

Me: So nothing has been sent to me?

That's correct.

Me: Right. So can you tell me anything about our land claim?

I can read you parts of your engineer's report over the phone, but I can't give you any costing information.


Me: Okay, anything would be great

Okay, so it says here that following the September quake, there was partial failure of five of your retaining walls, and full failure following the February quake.

Me: Um. We never had any retaining walls. That doesn't sound like our property.


[Laughs] Okaaaay. Hmmm. It looks like we have the incorrect report attached to your file. Sorry.

Me: So how do we find the report for our property?


Do you know who the engineer was? I think you should contact them directly.

Me: Righto. I'll do that then [trying to sound cheery, and not at all irritated].


Anything else I can help you with?

Me: No, thank you.


This conversation actually took 26 minutes. 26 minutes for nothing. Nadda. Zilch. I have left a message with the engineer (fortunately I know who it is), but don't like my chances of getting a reply seeing as he is in the midst of making assessments of the entire Port Hills region right now.

I am so annoyed I can't even be bothered attaching a photo to this post.