Wednesday 29 June 2011

Another phone call...


Hello this is the Earthquake Commission, how can I help?

Me: Hi, about ten days ago someone called me and said they were assessing our land, and would get back to me within a day or so and I hadn't heard anything so was just calling to see how it was going?

I see, can I have your claim number? And full name? And address?

Me: [gives details]..

Right, um, okay, let's see......[pause]...okay.....[pause]...it looks like we have assessed your land.

[pause]

Me: Okay, so what was the assessment?

It looks like we have sent you a letter, um, this morning.

Me: Okay, great, what was in the letter?

You will receive the letter in 5-7 working days.

Me: Can't you just tell me what it says now? Seeing as I'm on the phone?

I'm afraid I can't see that. But I can see that you are being sent a letter which talks about what is majorly happening to your land.

[this is actually what he said "majorly happening to your land" - wtf?].

Me: Majorly happening to our land?

Yes that's right Ma'am.

[he actually called me that too - "ma'am"].

Me: Is there anyone I can talk to who can tell me what is in the letter?

No, but I will make a note that you would like to know what is in the letter...[taps on keyboard]....is there anything else I can help you with?

Me: Ah no, you have been majorly helpful....loser.

[I didn't actually say this, but it's what I thought. I am not mean to people who work in call centres as I was one once. It's not their fault there was a majorly massive earthquake and the EQC was majorly unprepared and they were at the front of the dole queue and so had to take the stupid call centre job talking to all the Christchurch losers who are all grumpy because they desperately want to know what is majorly happening to their land].

No doubt I will have a major update in 5-7 working days.

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